racism: if you are not against the problem, then you are the problem.

I do not pretend that I am “more woke” or “less white” than other white people. As a person with a readership and following, and as someone with white privilege, I’m using my platform to speak about the issue everyone sees but does not recognize. If you are a person of color who has more to add to the conversation, please do so in the comments below, and I will edit this message. Do not be afraid to correct me, as it is not my place to presume or understand your suffering and oppression.

One of the most influential messages I’ve seen in recent days was a video from Chaz Smith, who became popular on Vine from his funny “pronouncing things incorrectly” videos. Now on YouTube, Smith took a break from his usual comedic content to make a statement about 3 things white people can do right now to help fight racism.

I find myself struggling between wanting to help and not wanting to step too far. After all, it is not a white person’s place to speak for people of color.

It is not a white person’s place to speak for people of color.

However, what Smith said in this video really struck me and helped me realize something. “When white people speak to other white people about problems that people of color have, your words have greater weight and influence with them. You have influence, or a privilege (white privilege), that I, as a Black man, may not have with them.”

Let that sink in for a moment. There are so many white people who do not listen to people of color. The ones who do? It’s our job to pass the message along to the people who won’t listen. No, we do not claim to know or understand the prejudice, violence, and injustice toward Black culture or identity. But when their voices are not heard (and they aren’t being heard), we as people in a society from a place of privilege MUST speak louder.

Choosing not to speak up makes you part of the problem. Yes! Don’t click away. If you do not show with your words and actions that you are against the problem, then you are part of the problem. Not choosing a “side” means that you are choosing the side of the oppressors. Not acting means that you are fine with the hate that is being carried out through speech, media, action, or non-action.

A quote (I don’t have an original source for this, so if someone could help me I will edit this later) I’ve been seeing lately is, “It is not enough to not be racist. You must be actively anti-racist.” I try to think about this from a minority point of view.

As a queer person, comments like “I’m sorry people don’t believe your identity,” or “It’s so sad that 12 transgender people have died of violence in 2020” do not comfort me. So if I say, “I’m sorry George Floyd couldn’t breathe,” that does nothing. Stop feeling sorry, white people. Start acting sorry. Start being angry.

I’ve compiled resources and quotes from friends and from activists who have spoken out about this issue. All of their social media links will be posted next to the content. Thank you to anyone speaking about this.

Student Jordan Taylor Brown: instagram.com/jxrdan.taylxr

“At this point, honestly, I feel so defeated. I feel like there’s nothing I can do but just hope that no one tries to kill me. That’s honestly really scary, especially now.”

“What if I get pulled over. What if someone tries to kill me because I don’t look like I belong here or for a routine traffic stop.”

“I’m annoyed and tired of seeing my fellow Black people getting killed for things that no one should get killed for, things that they didn’t do.”

Student Danny Gage: instagram.com/dann_gage

“You came to this land to escape torture, injustice, and slavery from your king. You then inflicted all of that on anyone who was different from you. Anyone who got in your way. America is a land of hypocrites. How many have to suffer before you realize it and make a change?”

Actress Lesley-Ann Brandt: instagram.com/lesleyannbrandt

In tears, she said this: “I just watched the video of one of the bystanders who was standing there fighting with policeman, to try to help George Floyd. That grown man, when he was dying, called for his mama. Called for his mother. And it didn’t start with George Floyd, and it’s not gonna end there. Unless you all speak up because this has been going on for years. So don’t, with this fake outrage, if you don’t really mean it.”

Student Haleigh Davis:

“dear all lives matter,
anybody that supports you whole heartedly is kind of crazy. take this for an example. if you have five fingers and one of them is broken, you don’t pay attention to all five fingers. pay attention to the one that needs it the most. and in case you did not know, the broken finger is the african american community.  our lives matter to not all, and that is sad, and it should not be the case. some people think that we are treated and discriminated all the same when that’s not the case. you’ll never hear about a cop beat up a white school shooter. you’ll only see that when an african americans are doing nothing to harm the country. we cant play cops and robbers (tamir rice), you’ll see us pinned to the floor for an accusation of counterfeit money , and you’ll even see us get killed for no reason (emmett till). these are racial crimes , and the cops get away with it. that is it. that is why we fight. that is why we will not stay silent. Floyd was the last straw, and you’ll hear us roar.”

What you can do:

  1. Sign and share petitions on change.org. There are several listed for Breonna Taylor, George Floyd, and countless others who have been wronged by the justice system.
  2. Post about it on social media without “worrying that it will ruin your feed.” Your precious Instagram feed doesn’t matter right now; people do. Speak about it in an educated way. Don’t make it about you, and don’t expect someone to congratulate you for “supporting Black people.” The world should have been doing that already.
  3. Donate to your local bail fund. Kansas City has one, but do some searching to see if there’s one near your city. It’s important to contribute if you can, because these funds help get those who have been detained without cause. Well, the cause is prejudice, and we won’t stand for it.
  4. Listen. White people do too much talking and not enough listening. Listen to your POC friends, family, and influencers.
  5. When you’re considering where to get a bite to eat, think of Black-owned small businesses first. They need your support right now. And with the pandemic, you should probably think of small businesses first anyway.
  6. Reach out to any Black LGBTQ+ youth in your community right now. This specific group is at high risk for suicide. Most LGBTQ+ hate crimes are against Black trans women. Give them a hand, and tell them you believe and love them. That’s what they need right now.
  7. Finally, keep in mind that your friends and family might have dissenting opinions about what’s going on… In a time where hate runs rampant, meet disagreements with love and understanding. Your grandmother may be upset at the destruction of her hometown, and you may think the riots are justified. If someone is projecting hateful speech, and you disagree, choose to listen to those projecting loving speech. Don’t give hateful people a platform.

I know that I am not the end-all be-all opinion holder on this subject matter. Most of this content is passing on what people of color have said – because I have a platform, I feel obligated to continue to push the narrative. It would be wrong if I didn’t take advantage of my website to speak up about this. Please, please, please. Above all else. Love.

-ellynn ❤

minimalism is bad (but only if you do it wrong)

Note: This essay has been edited from its original format as an academic assignment. I thought it fit for my blog. All citations are below – because this was written for a class, they are in MLA.

Imagine for a moment that you make a six figure salary. You can afford five-dollar lattes, designer clothes, and a half-a-million dollar home. Do you feel happy? Maybe not. Keeping up with material demands creates guilt, shame, and anger. You join a machine you didn’t design, and you wake up regretting it. With no other option, you choose minimalism. You give up the
pursuit of stuff and accept the pursuit of life. This shows why people find minimalism so attractive. Creator of “The Minimalists” Joshua Fields Millburn decided not to take part in a corporate setting. “I realized working 60–80 hours a week to make the money to buy more superfluous stuff didn’t fill the void I felt inside. It only brought more debt and anxiety and fear
and loneliness and guilt and stress and paranoia and depression” (Millburn). A minimalist lifestyle improves financial stability, increases emotional well-being, and contributes to healthy habits.

Picture it: you can’t deal with the mess in the house. You break down and decide to go through the closets, kitchen cabinets, couch cushions, and basement shelves. You might get tired, but the reward of decluttering goes beyond having a clean house. When decluttering, you can find lost things, save money by not needing to re-purchase found items, and make money by renting extra space or selling items you don’t need (“The Psychological”). You can sell found items or bring them to second-hand stores. Selling items like furniture or baby gear takes time, but it blesses someone else (“The Psychological”). Not only does living with less reward you, but for many, it offers a sense of financial freedom.

One blogger who desires to reach financial independence asked an intriguing question. “What if you had nothing? How much simpler would life be? Nothing to clean, nothing to fix, nothing to solve. Just you and your time to do whatever you want. How much more time would you have to pursue your dreams?” (route2fi). Some might gasp at eliminating responsibility and ownership. Have you ever heard a homeless person say they like homelessness? Someone in a comfortable $300,000 home might not fathom that. It may seem far-fetched to live with nothing, but people do it. Imagine what could happen if all your belongings sat secured in one backpack. With fewer bills to pay and less worry about debt, you might find more time to focus on the things that matter.

The possibility of feeling fulfilled while living with less may surprise some, but route2fi agrees. He said he traveled to places where the villagers seemed happy, even while living on $3 a day (route2fi). People below the poverty line often feel more joy than a person making six figures. These people live happy lives because they get what they need. That makes common American complaints like your McDonald’s order taking too long seem ridiculous. If someone with so little can experience joy, why can’t we?

When trying to see this joyful quality of minimalism, some try to create it by purchasing new items. Buying more to look like you own less doesn’t make sense. New minimalists make this huge mistake often — they throw out all their clothes and go out and buy a whole new set that looks more minimal. How about wearing clothes that make you feel confident and comfortable, which you already own? “Reducing a wardrobe down to a few painfully elegant cashmere-cotton blend tops is only really possible if you can put down at least $1,000 in one go for the creation of your ‘capsule wardrobe’” (Fagan). Americans started 2019 with over $1 trillion in debt, and the average American household in 2020 carries $9,000 in credit card debt (Comoreanu). Our culture perpetuates wasting money. To see how, visit this infographic to see how a person could spend 8 ½ years of their lives shopping (“Why We Need”).

Not only does materialism damage your wallet, but “people scoring high on materialism are more prone to compare themselves to wealthier others, this may lead to envy and a sense of inequity and anger, which also leads to diminished life satisfaction and happiness” (Lee, Michael S. W., and Christie Seo Youn Ahn). Retail therapy? It doesn’t work, at least not for long. The
idea of purchasing something seems more attractive than the purchase. Buying stuff doesn’t make us happy. Often, we buy things because someone else did. Keeping up with the Joneses never ends — consumerism makes us insatiable.

Only the rich can afford this much nothing.
“Only the rich can afford this much nothing.” Cartoon by Mick Stevens.

As human beings, most of us want to stay in a positive emotional state. That desire to achieve true happiness can become entangled with the desire to compare. In his New Yorker cartoon, “Only the rich can afford this much nothing,” artist Mick Stevens illustrates that desire well. You don’t need to buy minimalism: how counter-intuitive. Minimalism encourages contentment with current possessions. People will get rid of their stuff to buy designer stuff, replacing it and showing Instagram. Even if they feel like minimalists, they take part in hidden consumerism. They still keep up with the next guy. The minimalism decor trend became so pricey and fancy that people with low income think they can’t participate— but minimalist
Sophie Handy said in an interview that she sees this in a different light.

On her minimalist journey, “I realized that material goods just made me worry more. I have learnt to let things go. Things are to be used, and if they break, it’s okay, you can let go” (Handy). Letting go of objects clears the mind of clutter and lets you breathe easier. Think of commitments to clubs, events, responsibilities… Now imagine that every time you decide to own
an object, you make a similar commitment with your mental and physical space. Letting go of useless things alleviates stress and commitment, leaving space for more important things.

Now, anyone new to this lifestyle might make a few common mistakes. Youheum of Heal Your Living said (in this podcast episode) to focus on emotional as well as physical clutter — she believes that emotional change makes minimalism valuable (Heal Your Living). Our mental health declines when we do anything for the wrong reason, and that includes throwing out
everything you own because you feel like you should. If you want to become a minimalist for the right reasons, then make sure you aren’t throwing out the wrong pieces of yourself for the sake of
looking good.

So, is minimalism anti-materialism? In my interview with Sophie Handy, she said, “Minimalism is an anti-capitalistic way of life. It’s about making good with what you’ve got, not buying more, hoarding more just because this is today’s norm” (Handy). Handy chooses to avoid the status quo because minimalism helps you appreciate the things you own without adding more. Buying something because it makes us look better has nothing to do with our desire to own it and everything to do with our desire to appear put together. However, no one with incessant desire feels put together. Minimalism teaches you to practice joy, not hunt for it, because consumerism causes an addiction to discontentment.

Like any addiction, quitting consumerism requires a replacement. Quitting alcohol cold turkey without a replacement habit might lead an alcoholic back to the bottle. Replacing time spent drinking with an evening workout or a good book helps curb the habit. Joshua Fields Millburn, for example, “developed new habits I love, habits I look forward to each day, habits that make me happy: exercise, writing, reading, establishing new connections with people, and building upon existing relationships” (Millburn).

As with any lifestyle, minimalism receives misconceptions. Chelsea Fagan of The Guardian complains, “The hyper-curated minimalism really only conveys one thing: ‘I wanted to take the very safest route to chic, cut away every possible misstep or risk . . . Time to reduce my look even further until literally every item I purchase tells people I could get something more
interesting, but I have enough money to choose not to’” (Fagan). The author overlooks the key point: mindset, not glamour. A marble kitchen counter with one container of the finest bamboo utensils and a Bath & Body Works candle doesn’t define minimalism. It describes a decor choice. Home decor stores capitalized off of a movement that wanted to refuse capitalism. They’ve said, “Oh, the public wants crisp white walls and a single plant for decoration? We’ll sell it to them. Make the white paint expensive. Make the plants hard to find.”

Back to Fagan’s criticism — the media provides only a brief expectation on how minimalism should look. “The premise of minimalism in this way is very vague, and ever-shifting to accommodate the tastes and stomach for consistency of the individual practitioner, but the overall theory is the same: by paring your life down as actively as possible, you are almost
guaranteed to appreciate what remains more” (Fagan). Fagan gets it right here. Minimalism doesn’t need rules. You don’t need a fancy magazine or influencer to tell you that, although it might help to poke around those resources. No one expects that you’ll uncover a magical life change after “converting” or whatever. It’s a lifestyle, the way some people drive a Jeep and some drive a Honda.

Minimalists fall into different categories, but there sits a fine line between avoiding wasteful consumerism and appearing on Survivor (Lee, Michael S. W., and Christie Seo Youn Ahn). When people first hear about minimalism, they assume it means maintaining a set number of items. A true minimalist doesn’t necessarily maintain a set number of objects . . . at least, no one made a Minimalism Bible. So many discrepancies exist about what defines “minimalist enough” that many try not to define it. You may not want furniture — some appreciate a dining room table or a bed or a chair. Forget the right and wrong here: focus on intentionality.

At its heart, minimalist design does not equate to a minimalist lifestyle (Heal Your Living). What a silly way to look at something! If you look at photos of a courtroom, does that make you want to practice law? No. If you look at a veggie dog, does that make you want to eat vegetarian? No — and frankly, as a vegetarian, I don’t want to eat a veggie dog. To know if you
want something, you can’t just look at a few sparse living rooms. You must ask yourself what makes the most sense for you.

Focusing on feeling rich rather than being rich may seem hard for some, but it can happen (route2fi). Joshua Fields Millburn said that although his life may appear more fulfilling, “We all have the same 24 hours in a day. We all have one life to live, and that life is passing by one day at a time. The only real difference lies within the decisions we make and the actions we take” (Millburn). We owe it to ourselves to look at our lives, decide what we want, and decide our priorities. Minimalism can decrease financial troubles and help the world feel a little bit healthier… and a whole lot happier. So do you want stuff? Or life?


Comoreanu, Alina. “Credit Card Debt Study: Trends & Insights.” WalletHub, 9 Mar. 2020, wallethub.com/edu/cc/credit-card-debt-study/24400/.

Fagan, Chelsea. “Minimalism: Another Boring Product Wealthy People Can Buy.” The
Guardian, Guardian News and Media, 4 Mar. 2017, www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/mar/04/minimalism-conspicuous-consumption-class.

Handy, Sophie. Email interview. 7 Mar. 2020.

Heal Your Living, producer. “Why You Struggle with Minimalism and How to Move Forward.” Heal Your Living Podcast | Mindfulness, Sustainability, Minimalism & Wellness, episode 001, Spotify, 26 Jan. 2019, open.spotify.com/episode/1FMba3ZBK33yxJHP0FtgF6si=3jUA44BVTxmWgwCLKxySnQ. Accessed 6 Mar. 2020.

Lee, Michael S. W., and Christie Seo Youn Ahn. “Anti-Consumption, Materialism, and Consumer Well-Being.” Journal of Consumer Affairs, vol. 50, no. 1, Spring 2016, pp. 18–47. EBSCOhost, doi:10.1111/joca.12089.

Millburn, Joshua Fields. “A Day in the Life of a Minimalist.” The Minimalists, The Minimalists, 24 Sept. 2019, www.theminimalists.com/aditl/.

route2fi. “How Minimalism Changed My Life And Saved Me Tons Of Money.” Route 2 FI, 14 July 2019, www.route2fi.com/lesson-to-myself-part-ii-why-minimalism-changed-my-life-and-saved-me-tons-of-money/.

Stevens, Mick. “Only the rich can afford this much nothing.” New Yorker, Condé Nast, www.newyorker.com/cartoon/a15618. Accessed 6 Mar. 2020. Cartoon.

“The Psychological Benefits behind an Organized Space.” YouTube, uploaded by Cityline, 15
Mar. 2009, www.youtube.com/watch?v=9JrFV1sd8CQ&list=PLcQmKKeEbHsz1LCRombOS6kQM2Wck2qCk&index=44. Accessed 6 Mar. 2020.

“Why We Need to Live with Less [Infographic].” MNN.com, NARRATIVE CONTENT GROUP, 8 Nov. 2013, www.mnn.com/lifestyle/responsible-living/stories/why-we-need-to-live-with-less-infographic. Accessed 15 Apr. 2020. Infographic.

what they don’t tell you about life after high school

High school is over. My life in this suburban town is over. Everything I’ve ever known is now completely flipped on its head. Am I excited or worried? Yes. The answer is yes.

While in high school, the one question I had floating around my mind was, “what do they not tell you about graduating and entering the adult world?” Well, I wanted to outline that.

First of all, if you think college is “the adult world,” then you’re gonna have a rude awakening when you leave college. To be honest, a residence where someone stands by to answer all your questions and help you through life, where you’re surrounded by people your age with your interests? That’s not adulting. That’s a sheltered, extended camp. However, there are some things you have to take care of.

We’ll start with something that I don’t personally have an issue with: if you don’t already, you have to get used to doing your own laundry. And it’s probably not in the convenience of your own living space – if it is, good for you. Welcome to the real world.

Next, you get to take care of all your own nutrition. Yay? Maybe. If you have a hard time remembering to eat (like me) or if you don’t make super balanced food choices, this can be tough. Try to write out a meal plan for the week. Usually colleges have some sort of menu, if you’re on a dining plan. If you’re buying your own groceries, plan your grocery list based on the meals you’re going to cook that week. Trust me, it’ll make your meal habits healthier.

Here’s a tough thing about leaving high school. You can’t necessarily keep all of your friends. 😦 I know that sounds tough. But listen, it’s going to get really difficult to communicate with and check on each and every acquaintance you had in high school. People you swear you’ll stay in touch with will probably fade out of your life. Know that it’s okay, and that is something that happens with time. Prioritize the people you value and really want in your life.

Also, there’s a lot more to do than you think. In general. In fact, getting older just adds more and more responsibilities to your plate than you ever thought possible. However, just because someone added a responsibility doesn’t mean you have to claim it. You usually can and should say no to things that don’t align with your purpose.

But that doesn’t translate to skipping out on anything and everything that sounds hard or unfamiliar. Trying new things that are out of your comfort zone is another huge part of adulting. I honestly think that might be the most important part. If you don’t try scary new things, then are you even doing life right?

You might do things a little differently than you thought you would when you were younger. I used to think I’d stay up all night when I was a “big kid.” Nope. I want to go to bed at ten o’clock and wake up at five sometimes. I also thought bacon was a food group as a kid. Now I don’t eat meat. It’s a funny world we live in.

Reinventing yourself might be necessary. Maybe you like how you are, and you don’t want to change a thing. That’s great! Keep on going, love. But if you think you’d like to switch up your style or hair, or even change a personality trait for the better, then get workin! Right before you enter a new world, so to speak, is a perfect time to change some things up. We’re all going through changes, but big ones are hard to make when we don’t feel like it’s the “right time.” Spoiler alert: it’s never the right time. Just go for it.

Realizing that you’re actually cool and you can be your own best friend is the best feeling in the world. No, I mean it. Not in a cheesy way or in a way that’s pathetic and lonely. When you can turn on your favorite song, dance around your room in your favorite outfit, read books you like, take yourself out, go on walks alone, build yourself a fort, take care of yourself mentally, physically, spiritually… You can become your own best friend. And it’s amazing.

You can build a beautiful life by simply deciding to have one. You have jurisdiction over your whole life, so take advantage. What time do you want to get up and go to bed? What habits do you want ingrained? Fill in the blank: I’ve always wanted to be the kind of person who ___________. Now, how can you get to that kind of person? Pretend you’re that person right now. What does that person do, believe, say? Be them. Keep going.

Something else they don’t tell you – you don’t know exactly what to expect. If you’re a high school student, just know that. You might be hunting for all the answers, but there may not be any until you get to where you’re going. Life was meant to be a series of questions you answer after you ask them, not before. Just know that you never have to do anything alone.

Have a wonderful week.

-ellynn ❤

music on my mind

I’m a firm believer that music has the capability to change us fundamentally — if not forever, then for the short time that it plays. If this is true, then we must be very aware of the music we’re choosing to put in our ears. I’ve made a list of songs that set my soul on fire.

  1. Slam — AWOLNATION: I had to start off with a song from my favorite band’s latest album, Angel Miners and the Lightning Riders. Every song is excellent, but this one is probably my favorite. It just gives off this epic, bad-ass vibe that we all crave in a song.
  2. Great American Novel — Max Jury: This song makes you feel like you’re in a movie.
  3. Follow the Sun — Xavier Rudd: I heard this one while on an adventure with a friend. It just reminds me of good times.
  4. Ambivalence — Hanz, emawk: Imagine you’re on a city bus, on your way home from a long day. You’re going to rest for a while. It’s drizzling.
  5. Wolf Like Me — TV On The Radio: I can’t explain it, but this song makes me want to run a marathon?
  6. Dead of Night — Orville Peck: One of the most beautiful tunes I’ve ever heard.
  7. Honeybee — Steam Powered Giraffe: Going with the beautiful theme, this song has some of the most gorgeous vocals… and the layering, the lyrics… it’s golden.
  8. Doomed — Moses Sumney: His music might be a bit different than your average alternative/indie sound, but it’s still darn magical.
  9. Take Me Out — Young Summer: I’m a sucker for slow covers of well-known songs, and this one just works so well. Although I adore the original, this sad singer-songwriter feel just twists your heart. Ugh.
  10. Born In The Slumber — flora cash, Death Stranding: Timefall: Heard this one live at the online Buzz Beach Batll. Beautiful.

Alright, that’s all I’ve got for now… but I’m sure I’ll have more later. Enjoy!

got the blues?

we’ve all felt down at some point in our lives. more than ever, the world needs to hear this message: you are not alone.

I know life has been really difficult. I find myself going between boredom, sadness/loneliness, peacefulness, joy, and then the whole cycle again. sometimes I feel nothing. I just want you all to know that no matter what you’re feeling or not feeling, it’s okay.

you’re not going crazy. in fact, it’s completely natural to have all of the above and more reactions to everything covid-19 has brought us. it has caused so much loss for an immeasurable amount of people — whether that loss be in the form of life, events, relationships, opportunities, finances, or anything else.

what are natural reactions to loss? denial. anger. bargaining. depression. acceptance. the five stages of grief.

have I felt all of these? absolutely! I go between the stages constantly. today, I’m at the acceptance phase. a few days ago, I was in the anger/depression stages. a week ago, I was bargaining.

it’s okay to feel how you feel. sometimes we need to hear that from someone outside of our immediate family or friends. it’s okay. your feelings and emotions are valid.

the important thing isn’t that you “feel better,” although if you can find a way to do that, great! I’m proud of you! but the important thing is to acknowledge that you have these feelings. if you don’t know what is bothering you, you can’t start to tame those emotions.

look inside yourself. are you sad about not being able to go out, or by what you’re seeing on the news? are you angry because being with your family is difficult? are you in denial, perhaps because you think this whole thing is going to be over, so you’re going out anyway? all of these feelings are perfectly normal, healthy things to feel. but look at yourself and decipher how you’re reacting to the current state of the world.

now. take those findings and think of a way to help with the emotions. for being sad about not going out and seeing the news, schedule a zoom night with some good friends/family and don’t look at the news for a day. watch cute cat videos instead. in fact, maybe it’s a good idea for all of us to get off the internet for a while.

for those who are having a hard time with their families, taking a long walk in the sunshine or simply sitting on the porch steps with some music on might be just the escape you need.

if you find you’re in denial, perhaps doing some reading on the current state of the world and look up what’s been released by WHO (World Health Organization) and the CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention). if might be a bit of a shock to see what’s going on, and it may bring up other emotions, but it’s good to be informed and stay safe.

I know this isn’t easy, but taking care of ourselves mentally/emotionally during this time is crucial. I love you all. stay home, wash your hands, and watch lots of Netflix!

-ellynn ❤

18 lessons at 18


Photo by Anton Darius on Unsplash

I’ve just turned 18! Happy birthday toooooo meeeee… A few notes, though, before I get into the post:

  • I’m sure you’ve noticed that my website looks a little different. Yes, I’ve scored a sweet new domain name! Say hello to rachelellynnm.com. I’ve come a long way in the years I’ve had this website. I’m also writing to you from my shiny new MacBook Air — this is a nod in the direction of Jeff. Thanks, Jeff. 🙂
  • You may begin seeing affiliate links in the next few posts so I can keep this domain open and start saving a bit for college. Just be aware! I do receive a commission for some links, but that’s only if you choose to make purchases based on my recommendations. You are never obligated to make any purchases, and I would never put up an affiliate link if it wasn’t something I didn’t truly like or want on my site.
  • Also, goodbye WordPress ads and hellloooo WordAds! Yep, I took the plunge. I’m a big kid blogger now.
  • And two more housekeeping things before we get to the post: 1. I will now be uploading twice a week – Wednesday and Saturday. Yay! And 2. I am working on an option for a subscription to support the blog. It would involve motivational Mondays, personalized poems, and sneak peeks of my current writing (with each one layering, depending on which subscription you have). This is very exciting for me, and I hope you are excited to go on this journey with me.

Alright, without further ado: 18 things I learned at 18.

  1. Your happiness depends on you. There are so many people around you who love and support you, but if you rely on them to create your happiness, that joy will be cut short. Depending on another person may feel good in the moment, but it is not sustainable.
  2. You don’t have to be friends with everyone. Seriously. Not everyone is your friend. It’s not mean, it’s just the truth! Do you want that much commitment, anyway? No, probably not. Relationships take energy and effort, so commit to the ones that matter and leave the rest alone.
  3. Get organized. When you need to find that important paper or photo or password or book or item of clothing, you’ll thank me.
  4. Hold onto the important stuff. I didn’t want to mention the virus in this post, but I have to because it’s had such a tremendous effect on our world. Everything you know could disappear in an instant, so hang on to it while you can.
  5. Forgive, forgive, and then forget. People do deserve second and third and fourth chances. People do change, and they do make mistakes, and you would want someone to do the same for you. However: if someone hurts you over and over with no remorse or realization, do not waste time. Let them go.
  6. You’re never going to be ready. That thing you just thought about? Yeah, you’re not prepared for it. But it’s going to happen, and you’re going to have to do it, or you will never ever succeed.
  7. It’s not all about you. Yeah, yeah. Life might be crappy for a bit. But everyone has their own shit, and yours isn’t more pitiful than anyone else’s.
  8. Your environment matters. Your home. Your car. Your office. Make it comfortable. Make the places you live livable.
  9. Music makes everything different. Feeling like crap? There’s a playlist that can turn it around. Music is medicine, love.
  10. Success isn’t money. Enough is all you need.
  11. You don’t have to be productive 24/7. Society has major expectations for how much work you should be doing and how much you should be achieving, but you don’t have to appease society. Take breaks.
  12. But you do have to keep working at things you love. No one, and I mean no one is going to do the passion work for you. Writing novels has taught me this. Put in the time before you don’t have any time.
  13. Inspiration and motivation won’t keep you going. You have to have the habits, too. Brendon Burchard’s book saved me on this one.
  14. You can change right now. Sure, you can wait until New Year’s Day or your next birthday or your next promotion or when you move to L.A. to change up your life. Or you could start now, be happier now, and get inspired now.
  15. But you don’t have to change. Again, society really likes to tell us that we need the next big thing! We need to achieve x, y, z! But NO! You don’t.
  16. Stop holding back what you have to say. What is in your mind matters. Speak your truth.
  17. Drink more water. Seriously. This water bottle helps you stay on track.
  18. Breathe. The world waits for you, dear. Don’t speed up.

-ellynn ❤